A Note from Gregory Anne

It's official, summer's long hot days have moved on here in New York . They are replaced by shorter but often still plenty-warm, sunny days and getting-chilly nights. I am invigorated by the change; happy to have an excuse to focus on the work of coaching and writing. But a day is incomplete without a good meal or two and summer's end leaves stray ears of fat sweet corn and ripe juicy tomatoes. Salads still appeal to me but with a bit of warmth and substance. Our recipe this month fills that order.

I've taken on a challenge—write more articles; create that book I've been talking about. In order to meet my goals I've got to practice a number of things. First, show up in front of the computer and peck away. Second, keep the little-voice critic quiet and rewrite the tape that runs in my head asking “who wants to read this stuff anyway?” This takes practice, support, and a bit of fearlessness. The payoffs will be; accomplishing the work I say I want to and the incomparable feeling that comes when I stay the course rather than give up when things don't go as planned. I've learned to welcome the ugly, the choices I wish I hadn't made, and the rewrites because that means I'm in the game and getting closer to my target.

Marcia Reynold's Outsmart Your Brain is our book this month. Read my review and get to the bottom of why “Just Do It” leaves most of us in the dust.

To your Health, Power, and Joy.

Gregory Anne

Return to Top

Practice and Mastery

When we refer to certain professions we call the business of it a practice. My friend's husband has a dental practice, I have a coaching practice, my brother practices law.

Within those parameters we might refer to the dentist as “excellent”, the coach as “supportive” and the lawyer—at least in my brother's case—as “ethical.”

“To be engaged in professionally” is one definition in Merriam Webster's Dictionary. This is a person “doing.” The above descriptions, excellent, supportive, ethical; refer to the person “being.” What these two ideas have in common is what it takes to get there: practice.

We practice to get a degree, to sing on key, and to communicate well. In short we are working towards mastery. Who among those who have achieved mastery in any game would not agree that practice is vital but it must be married to supportive self talk and a willingness not to see setbacks as failure.

It has been said that we are “meaning making machines.” It has also been said that our self talk is the power- link to the results we see in our lives. So why make the little things that derail us mean we are bad, ineffective, stupid, etc? What results can that kind of mind chatter produce? Losing $1000 on an investment gone bad does not mean you are bad with money—unless that's what you choose as the meaning. Does this make sense?

In the past if I'd say, “I'm going to clean out that drawer in the bathroom this week” and I didn't do it my tendency was to beat myself up. “I never do things when I say I will.” Since I believe that I create results based on what I tell myself, it's no wonder the drawer remained full of product samples from my Barbie doll era.

Limit your little voice unless she has something positive to say.

A sure way to postpone mastery is to weaken your efforts with, “I'll try”. The old saying “if at first you don't succeed” etc. may be good advice but it comes with the flip side of succeed which is fail. Is it ok to fail in this win-win society? Sure it is if you think of it as a part of the process, not the end of the game. Harv Eker refers to the work of getting to a goal as one of “correct and continue.” Each time you set out to hit a target or change a habit you either do or do not do it. Where's the try? If you get there, great, what's next? If you miss the target review what worked, what didn't, and what you can do better next time. Correct and continue. It's a practice.

When we try on a new idea—“I can be a millionaire” or “I can be healthy”—and we feel these to be possible we take steps towards that goal. What happens when we get distracted by life, by fear, by procrastination? These new feelings diminish the energy for achieving our goal and we start the negative self talk. We do the try/fail tango because we don't consider that every action or moment of inaction and reflection is part of the journey. That's all. Was buying that cheap laptop a bad choice even though it's not what you'd hoped? No, it was just a choice based on the information you had. Does it mean you are not capable of making good decisions and you should quit right now? I'll let you answer that.

We are encouraged to practice our chosen professions to become proficient , even great. Some choose to practice being a better parent, spouse, team leader. The majority will have some form of spiritual practice which is essential to their well being. I would like to add another possibility; that to practice self love will enhance all of these.

Remember there really is no “try” as Yoda said, only “do or do not.” And both are only choices. Why one choice, to do, makes us good and the other bad should be recognized as self sabotage. Try on the idea that we create our reality with our words. Consider that we have much to learn about ourselves and it's mostly going to come by trial and error. Stay aware that life is a gift, why squander it sitting out the game? Take a moment to ponder the perfection you already are, regardless of what you choose to see. No doubt this will take some practice. Mastering this idea may mean you've achieved the greatest goal of all.

What could it mean for you?

Blessings
Greg

Return to Top

Ready to begin living better? today to learn how we can work together

Phone: 631-728-2456

Visit LiveBetter for even more great information!

Food That Fuels You

Fall Entrée Salads

Fall is here and my thoughts have turned to warm foods and end of summer produce. On the many still-warm days we have here on the east end I still crave salads for lunch or dinner. End of summer means the last of tomatoes, squashes, and corn.

What makes an entrée salad different than a first course offering? The addition of a 3 – 4 oz. serving of fish, meat or poultry as well as a starch either mixed right in to the greens or served on the side. Warm additions to cool greens is a great combination for any time of year but especially during these transitional weeks of warm then cooler weather. The base salads can be topped with any protein you like. Come on, you know the drill. Think outside the recipe!

This spinach salad is a healthier version made with turkey bacon and chunks of sautéed tomatoes. Complete it with slabs of rustic whole grain bread brushed with olive oil.

If you've never made a pan vinaigrette you are in for a treat. The yumm factor rests in the bottom of the pan after sautéing and is released when you add vinegar and maybe a little oil or stock.

Recipes make 2 entrees but can easily be doubled or tripled for company

Warm Spinach Salad with Grilled Sea Scallops Sautéed Tomatoes and Mushrooms

5 Cups Fresh Spinach leaves
1 Cup of thin sliced button or cremini mushrooms

Dressing:
2 slices turkey bacon, slice into thin bits
½ Cup of Olive Oil-split in half
¼ Cup of thinly sliced red onion
¼ Cup of good Balsamic vinegar
¼ Cup chicken stock

1 Ripe Medium tomato, split in quarters gently squeeze out seeds and rough chop
Salt and Fresh Pepper
2 - 1” thick slices of a rustic multi-grain bread brushed with olive oil
2- 4 ounce portions of fresh sea scallops*. Marinate before hand if you like.

* You can use salmon, swordfish, or other fish that holds up to the heat of a grill. I love this salad with sea scallops as the sweet of the scallops compliments the smoky bacon flavor and the bite of the spinach.

Place the cleaned spinach in a mixing bowl with the mushrooms.

In a medium saucepan over low heat put ¼ cup of the olive oil and the bacon bits.

Cook until they are browned, then add the onions. Cook for one minute.

Now add the vinegar and stock and let simmer for about 2 minutes. Remove from heat and hold.

Heat your grill and cook the fish. Allow about 8 minutes to finish your salad ingredients and have the plate ready for the fish.

When the fish is almost done, place the bread slices down on a cooler part of the grill. It takes only about 2 minutes to add a nice grilled flavor to the bread.

Once the fish is on the grill set another medium sauté pan on a medium high heat and add the other ¼ Cup of olive oil. When it is hot but not smoking add the tomatoes. Toss them repeatedly, season with salt and pepper. Turn off heat.

Place the bacon vinaigrette pan back on the heat just to warm it. When it bubbles around the edges pour it over the spinach and mushrooms. Use a rubber, high heat spatula to scrape all the goodness onto your greens.

Use the same spatula to toss the salad with the dressing til it is completely coated. Split this mixture on to two plates. Spoon tomatoes around the salad. Top with scallops. Cut the bread in half and complete the plate.

If you like croutons, cut your bread into squares, toss with olive oil and place on a pan in a 375-degree oven for about 10-15 minutes. Toss them in before you put the dressing on the greens.

Return to Top

Books that Cook

Outsmart Your Brain! Get Happy, Get Heard, and Get Your Way at Work
Marcia Reynolds

Nike started a movement--no pun intended--with its now familiar marketing concept, “Just Do It.” Just add expensive footwear and a thumping soundtrack and we're off to conquer the world right? Well, sometimes. Sometimes, I don't even put the music on. Often my brain is like Dolittle's “Push Me-Pull You” alternating between “Yes, we will go to the gym and power lift” and “Nah, you've had a long day, just chill.” Sound familiar?

Outsmart Your Brain, How to Make Success FEEL Easy, by Marcia Reynolds can explain. First, she suggests, we must learn how the brain works, then we can outsmart it. One aspect of how it works is evident in the above tug of war. Briefly, there are three areas of the brain. The first, called the reactive or reptilian brain, is responsible for keeping us alive and well; eating, not eaten. This is command central for living and controls sleep, respiration, body temp, and the basic movements that keep us alive, says Reynolds.

“Although we might have a more advanced, logical brain than the reptiles, our thoughts are distorted by this defense mechanism,” she adds, and “our brains react without thinking, fearfully or aggressively saying and doing “stupid stuff” to keep things status quo.” In addition to the hormone adrenaline, cortisol follows these brain signals and essentially shuts neurons down which, “keeps the brain from being able to store new information and learn. We may be able to focus and act fast when driven by fear or anger. Yet we struggle with change and learning new ways to behave,” she teaches. “Ridding ourselves of conditioned fear, anger and resignation is difficult. We can't ‘just do it'.”

Don't hang up those trainers yet! Marcia's book has more science, suggestions, and exercises to help you retrain the brain. Better and more frequent workouts aside, why would you want to take on your brain? Emotional Intelligence, the thrust of this work, is why.

Daniel Goleman wrote the first book on it. Marcia built on his information and created a workshop called Accessing Emotional Intelligence “where I teach others how to keep their brains from sabotaging their desires,” she writes. Her clients are not just New Age companies in touch with their sensitive sides but include American Express, Nokia, British Telecom, and many high profile others.

Reynolds goes on to say, “Knowing how to shift emotional states at will is the most important factor in achieving success and happiness.” I'm a believer, and her book will show you how, easily and thoroughly. It's a workbook as much as an informational read.

Is it difficult to get started? Do you have to read the whole book? Not at all, though I recommend doing that. My favorite exercise is around the concept of willingness. Marcia writes “Willingness is the first door that leads to mental clarity.” One starts by examining where we might be un willing and turns a 1000 watt light on how those pockets of unwilling—as simple and silly as “there is only one way to put the toilet paper on the roll”—might be limiting. “We put a lot of energy into holding on to ideas that make no difference in the big scheme of things,” Marcia teaches. I love this next challenge: “Can you step out of your frame, out of ‘the world according to you', for the chance of improving communications and results?” asks Reynolds. I guess I'd be a fool to say no.

The second element in her formula is desire. Marcia believes that without emotion, willingness is short lived. It is “I'll try” rather than “I'll do whatever it takes.” A strong, heartfelt desire supports our willingness because we can feel it.

When we are engaged emotionally we are in “just do it” mode because we have--consciously or not--found “the emotional payoff that will fuel our desire to make the change,” writes Reynolds. “Payoffs that inspire change are usually related to something we value such as money, love, peace, adventure, achievement, recognition or success,” she adds.

Add to this the practicing awareness, relaxing, detaching, and choosing and you are well on your way to raising your EQ.

Remember up top I said there are three areas of the brain? The other two, the social and the thinking brains, also play fully in this game and you'll learn about how they both help and hinder our intentions. Marcia sums up a whole brain approach this way; “While the reactive brain helps us to navigate through life, the social and thinking brains allow us to find humor, gratitude, enlightenment and meaning in the darkest of moments.”

I'm ready to practice these ideas as part of my ongoing desire to be a better friend, wife, business partner, and coach. Outsmart Your Brain is a welcome tool for my transformation toolbox.

Return to Top

Q&A Be sure to send your questions to Greg so she can answer them here in future issues of The You Revolution. Send her an

Q: I want to begin living a healthier lifestyle. What's more important to start with, my food choices or exercise? I don't think I can change everything at once.

A: Congratulations on your decision and for recognizing that changing everything at once is not a recipe for long term success. I'm going to go with exercise first. And by that I don't mean running if you've been sitting on the couch for years. Start slowly, walking, using canned beans as weights while watching Oprah. Why exercise first? Because so many aspects of our health benefits—not just our body size. Your heart will strengthen, skin tone may brighten, your digestive system will respond, and your mood will be elevated. You'll have more energy and you may just lose a few pounds, to name just a few of the benefits. With all of these positive changes I think you'll want to add some healthy food choices to your day or cut back on the ones that don't serve you now that you want better health.

What's Happening

Our next Smart Woman's Life Style Tune-Up is starting soon. Next week I'll be sending out an announcement with a special offer. Look for an email with the subject, Lifestyle Tune Up Starts Now.

Also coming this fall is The Heart of a Woman. Physically ours is different than men's and you need gender specific information to keep yours strong and healthy.

If you are ready to make some changes in your life and want support in the form coaching visit me at livebettercoach.com.

And I'll be back with issue number 5 of The You Revolution the last week of October. Meanwhile drop me a line or send in your question.To stay in touch between issues why not visit my Blog--The Coaching Café.

Best Regards,

Gregory Anne

Return to Top

Thank you for reading. I know your time is valuable and that there is a mountain of information out there demanding your attention. My highest hope is that I've provided something of value for you. If you know someone who might benefit from any of the content please forward this.

Any recommendations of sites or products are items I have personally investigated and recommend with confidence.