May, I love the very sound of it. I love the lightness of it, the flowers, the greening of my yard and the surrounding neighborhood. Googling “May” brought up a list of weird and diverse groups claiming May as their own. Who declares such things? May is National League of American Bicyclists month, National Military Appreciation, and Seasonal Arts and Crafts Month. American Wetlands and Older Americans also call May theirs. This entry arrested my attention for you, my readers: National Mental Health month. In honor of such a thing I wrote this month’s article, Let It Go. You’ll see the connection when you read it.

The recipes are light, yet luxurious in flavor and the pale palette of color.

The book is a departure from all things navel-gazing. It’s a compilation of stories about money. Twenty-two from-the-heart-honest gifts from the authors chosen to take part in Money Changes Everything.

The question sent in about Cinco de Mayo had me baffled for a bit but it’s sorted. Read below.

Oh, and I’ve got a new website. I’d love some feedback.

If May is closer to bathing suits than you’d like, sign up for a Lifestyle Tune-Up. It’s guaranteed to get you into action.

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“We are meaning making machines.” The first time I heard that I was sitting in a conference room at the World Trade Center as a participant in the first course offering from Landmark Education called The Forum. “Somesing happens, we make a meaning, somesing happens, we make a meaning,” Sophie, the instructor, ranted in a heavy French accent.

First I laughed then I scratched my head. Things just mean things we don’t make it up as we go along. Uh, yes we do. Please keep reading and I’ll do my best to support this idea.

Consider this story:

Following the tragic shooting at Virginia Tech I was listening to an NPR host interview  a local Virginia reporter. The reporter commented that Columbine had happened in April also and only 5 years and 5 days or so earlier. Somehow that was significant to her. I did not see any connection, neither it would seem did Neil Conan who asked her to explain the connection. The reporter sounded hurt and replied “Well it’s clearly something we don’t know yet but there may be something about this time of year. I saw it immediately.”

Still my brain refused to find anything compelling in her argument that two horrifying school shootings had anything to connect them save dead innocents and deranged gunmen. To her, two shootings in April regardless of other data meant something.

What is it about making meanings that is significant to you, dear readers? It’s the words “we make” as in, we decide what the meaning is when something occurs. This determines how our day goes and eventually shapes our lives. The above quoted reporter decided that because two terrible events happened which had similar circumstances they must be related. Not for me but she’s certainly entitled to create a connection.

The meanings we give things are based on our beliefs, values, fears, formulas for life, etc., and so comfort us or not but they seem right to us.

Further along in my transformational studies I heard this, “nothing means anything til I give it meaning, everything is neutral.” Or as Sophie put it, “Life is empty and meaningless.” Reading what I just wrote makes me laugh now but when I first heard it my head almost popped off in indignation. Why indignation? Because what I heard was that My life was meaningless.

No, what was being taught was that an event by itself is just an event.

It does not necessarily mean the same thing to two people and the meaning I give it today can change over time.

Example: When a high school science teacher told me I would not be any good at the sciences and I should stick to language arts I believed her. What I made her comment mean was that I was stupid if I couldn’t excel at science. Was I stupid? Hardly, and as time went on I came to understand that.

What else could I have made it mean? That I was more naturally inclined to excel in language arts but that since I was capable and passionate about learning science I could master it.

Does unmarried at 48 years old mean a person is unlovable or will never find a mate? No but do you know people who have the belief?

In an unhappy relationship for 27 years means that you should give up because it’s too hard to start a new life and have what would really make you happy right? Of course not.

Does seeing a black cat mean you’ll have bad luck? No, but superstitions are part of the meaning making mechanisms we inherit.

What’s wrong with making meanings? Nothing at all. It is our nature as energetic beings connecting to the world and people around us but some of the meanings we create do not support us and can be limiting or damaging.

Like the examples above.

What meanings have you given your life events that could use a tune up? Do you hear yourself saying, “I’m middle aged and I’m too old to really get in shape, get a better job, move to another city and start over?

Here is a conversation I had with a client not long ago. The client, let’s call her Michelle, is a successful 50-something freelance writer. Her daughter is a successful 25 year old with a very busy, high pressure job in advertising. The daughter has recently moved out of her childhood home and into an apartment with roommates. When I asked what the client wanted to focus on for our call this day she told me this. “My daughter has decided I don’t matter in her life anymore. It’s very painful and no matter how many times I call her and tell her I’ll take her shopping or out to eat she turns me down. Sometimes she doesn’t even call me back all day” lamented my empty nest mom. I asked when she’d last seen her daughter. “Oh two days ago” she replied, “we went out for coffee.”

Pause, pause.

Right about now you may be thinking, “the daughter probably just doesn’t have much time to spare or she just got her own place and works a full time job.” Or, “at that age it’s good to separate yourself from your parents”. And, “For heaven's sake Michelle got to see her daughter two days ago, why isn’t that good enough?” Ever had a meltdown over something only to realize soon after that it wasn’t necessary? Ok then. Helping Michelle change her current belief about why her daughter had not been as available was the next step. If not, Michelle would continue to find other incidents to prove how right she was and stay in her misery. We have all done this, but knowing we can choose how we feel, and choosing to feel good vs. not good eg., unloved, unhappy, trapped, old, etc. can make the difference when choosing a meaning.

As I said earlier, the meanings we give things, in this case, “I don’t matter in my daughter’s life,” arise out of our fears, beliefs, or past experiences. This particular meaning sounded like fear to me. The fear of losing her daughter as she becomes more independent and creates her own full life outside of her family means loss, which hurts. But who gave the situation the painful meaning? Michelle did, right?

I asked if Michelle would consider her daughter as the same loving, terrific kid who moved out just weeks before. “Of course she is”, cried Michelle, and “She’s amazing.”

“Could you also consider that she is finding her way in a challenging job and the demands of being a hip 20-something in NYC who loves her mom but wants to fully explore her new social scene?” I asked.

Our call ended on a high note. Michelle promised to find out how to fill her free time with things that would make her happy or satisfy her creative side. She vowed not to bug her daughter but to call when she wanted to check in and see how the job and roommates were treating her. If and when dear daughter called back was not going to rule or ruin her day. She would choose a meaning that allowed her to respect herself and her young adult child.
What a powerful concept empty and meaningless is huh? Just remember everything is neutral, it’s just what is happening or has happened. You get to choose how you frame it and how it adds or detracts from your life.

Go on, make a meaning you little meaning making machines. But by all means, make up something that serves your life.

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Spring Vegetable Medley

So many vegetables start to appear in the spring but delicate baby carrots, the first peas, spring onions, and new potatoes are some of my favorites. This dish goes well with fish, lamb, or chicken. You can choose different herbs or use one or two rather than all I have mentioned. Remember, think outside the recipe to suit your tastes.
Serves 4 – 6

Ingredients

• ½ lb small new potatoes or cut larger ones into quarters or eighths
• ½ lb baby carrots, blanch them briefly and rub skin off with a towel (peeling removes too much of the carrot as their skin is very thin)
• 1 small bunch of radishes, cut them into quarters
• ½ lb French green beans, cut in half if they are longer than 2” and blanch
• 1 lb fresh peas in the shell, this will yield about 1 Cup peas - use frozen if no fresh are available
• 1 bunch of scallions, trim off stem end and cut off green 1 inch above the bulb
• ½ cup of finely chopped herbs including chives, tarragon, marjoram, parsley
• ¼ – ½ cup of Good extra virgin olive oil
• Sea Salt or other course sal.

Method

1. Set up a steamer. Bring water to a boil.
2. Place the new potatoes in the steamer basket and cook for 12 – 15 minutes or until just tender.
3. Remove to a tray and cool.
4. You can blanch or steam the beans and carrots while the potatoes are cooking. You can also do the potatoes ahead of time.

Note: All vegetables—except potatoes!-- that you blanch must be shocked in ice water unless you are going to use them immediately. You’ll lose the color and texture otherwise.

5. When you are ready to serve veggies, place a large sauté pan or wok on a medium high flame.
6. Add ¼ cup of the olive oil to the pan, add the potatoes and toss gently til coated with oil.
7. Add the remaining vegetables except the peas and cook for about 5 minutes. Toss occasionally. Keep the flame low-ish so they cook without browning.
8. Now add the peas and stir them in. Cook everything for about another 3 – 5 minutes. If you need more olive oil add it a little at a time.
9. Right before serving sprinkle in the herbs and salt. Toss very gently and serve.

Roast Garlic Custard

These little morsels are silky, rich, delicious and a lovely foil to the intense flavor  of roasted meats. If you’ve never had dinner custard you must try one. They are worth the effort.

Serves 4 – 6 Depending on the size of your ramekins

Ingredients

• 1 cup of heavy cream (you can use light cream if you must)
• 2 whole large eggs
• 1 large yolk
• 1 head of garlic cloves – roasted and pureed (directions below)
• 1 Tbls. olive oil (used in the roasted garlic)
• Salt and Pepper

Method
I would suggest roasting the garlic ahead of time.

To roast the head of garlic:

1. Cut the top off the garlic head just enough to expose the cloves.
2. Place the garlic on a square of foil that is large enuogh to wrap up the entire garlic head.
3. Pour the olive oil into the garlic head.
4. Wrap it up and put it into a 300° oven for about one hour.
5. Check on it after an hour. You are looking for a rich brown color and when you squeeze it gently it should be soft.
6. When the garlic is cool enough to handle, squeeze the roasted garlic into a small bowl. Yes, you can use your hands and you’ll get messy but you want to be able to get all the goodness out of the little nooks and crannies.

For The Custard:

1. Preheat the oven to 325°F.
2. Butter 4 – 6 ramekins, 2 oz – 3 oz each
3. Place the cream in a medium sauce pan, scald the cream, then allow it to cool just slightly. If the garlic is still lumpy, put half the cream and the garlic cloves into a blender and blend until smooth.
4. Meanwhile mix the eggs and the yolk together. Place bowl on a damp towel or other anchor in place.
5. Temper the egg mixture by pouring in only a small amount of the hot cream.
6. Slowly add the rest of the cream, add the garlic, and season with salt and pepper.
7. Fill the ramekins, place them in a shallow pan and fill the pan with hot water to half way up the sides of the ramekins.
8. Cover the pan and bake for about 40 – 50 minutes or until custard is just set.
9. Allow them to cool slightly.
10. To serve run a small knife around the edges of the ramekin and turn custard out onto the dinner plates.

These can be made ahead. Keep them in their ramekins. To reheat, put them in any sort of pan with just a small amount of water in the bottom. Cover with plastic and place in a low oven, 250°F (the plastic won't melt at such a low temp). Then follow final instructions for serving.

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Money Changes Everything
Twenty-Two Writers Tackle the Last Taboo with Tales of Sudden Windfalls, Staggering Debts, and Other Surprising Turns of Fortune
Edited by Jenny Offill and Elissa Schappell

To give us all a break from the conversation around our bodies and why we do and don’t do, be, and have what we say we want, I searched for a literary work this month. Rather than completely abandon the inner game, the subject (money) is a topic sure to bring something up for the majority of readers.

We live in a tell-all culture. Sex, troubles with our kids, complaints about our spouses, and even our indiscretions are acceptable dinner table conversation—or at least ok while sharing a latte.  Our money side, in contrast, is kept hidden from view.

Money is loved, feared, and worshipped. Some see it as dirty, not in keeping with a spiritual life, unnecessary. It can make a God-fearing person swear and ordinarily loving couples spit fire. Money can change everything.

The editors of this book put it this way, “To shine a light on how much we make, how much we spend, how much we owe, and how much we’ve got secretly socked away is to give others a potent glimpse into the values we live by. Because of this, admitting to money troubles can often feel like admitting to a weakness of character.”

The money troubles coin has two sides.  “Shrinks have coined the phrase “affluenza” to describe the angst and aimlessness that arise from being so wealthy you don’t have to work for a living. Yet despite their insistence that affluenza can be a genuine hardship, therapists are finding it a hard sell to make others feel sorry for their clients. Most people can sympathize with the pain and struggle of the less fortunate, but the anxieties that attend being 'too rich' are much harder to imagine,” write the editors.

So silence and hiding are the order of the day whether the wolf is at the door or the view from the penthouse leaves you wanting.

Jenny Offill and Elissa Schappell, brought together twenty-two great writers who agreed to write about how their lives have been shaped, complicated and/or enhanced by this often hidden aspect of our lives.

The writing is sometimes comic, as in Chris Offut’s story Porn Bought My Football. It can also be achingly sad, as in Marian Fontana’s, A Dollar A Tear, about the money she received after her husband was killed in NYC on 9/11.

The writing is always brilliant.

Fred Leebron and Kathryn Rhett are married and each recalls their version of the money game as they describe their early lives together. Did they really experience the same things? His is titled For Richer, hers, For Poorer.  It represents the wedding vow but also the way money can divide otherwise loving couples.

Walter Kirn in Treasure Me tells of failed marriages because they were based on his using his money to perhaps buy affection and love. He “tallies up just how much it costs to have sex” and does it in a very funny way.

Daniel Handler, author of the Lemony Snicket series and no slouch in the money earning category, wrote a few pages titled “Winning.”  His idea for this essay was to buy a $1200 bottle of wine. He begins by asking, “Do you want to know what a $1200 bottle of wine tastes like? Of course you do.”

His agent warns him that he shouldn’t write this essay. “$1200 on a bottle of wine?” she asks. “It’s immoral. People are going to attack you. People are going to call you an immoral person” she warned.

“That’s what I’m interested in,” said Daniel. “I keep telling people about this bottle of wine. First everybody wants some, then everybody thinks it’s immoral. This is the thing with money.”

And so it is and the remaining eighteen writers pose equally thought-provoking ideas through their behind the scenes, behind their money accounts. Have some fun with these writers and think about your own money stories. How has money or a lack of it had an impact on your life over the years?

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Q&A
Be sure to send your questions to Greg so she can answer them here in future issues of The You Revolution. Send her an

Q: Cinco de Mayo is just around the corner. It’s one of my favorite celebrations and frankly I am planning to go out and live large with marguies, chips, guacamole. Heck I might even have a chimichanga. Is there anything healthy in these choices? The day-after guilt is worse than the tequila head.

A: Enjoy amigo(s), you are asking about a single day of excess. What’s healthy about that is your choosing to have it and considering the impact it will have on your otherwise healthy lifestyle.

Guacamole/Avocados are great for eyes, heart, and skin. The tomatoes in salsa are loaded with lycopene also for heart health, and peppers, both hot and sweet, are high in Vitamin C, carotenoids, lutein, and fiber. The capsaicin in hot peppers raises not only metabolism but endorphins. Cooks I’ve worked with over the years who hail from Latin countries would often down fiery hot tomato and chili juice the morning after to relieve the pain. Viva excess in moderation!

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Who has seen my new website? I have to thank Andy J. O’Bryan for his support, suggestions and shove towards a new look and for me, a whole new way of thinking.

My first design, by the brilliant artist Stephanie Bates, still figures into this one. Her banner with the sea and sky blending will always represent my idea that we can dream big and still be grounded. I am blessed to have Stephanie as one of the people who helped launch me out into the world. Thanks be that she’s so patient or I might never have been able to see my vision translated into images. If she were still in the design business, well Andy, I’d throw you under the bus.

What Andy showed me, and continues to help me with, is that in this day of new technologies and different ways of marketing I needed a bit of a tune-up myself. Take a look and let me know what you think.

If you haven’t been to the You Revolution Blog recently, why not head over. You can read my take on why mercury testing is so important and a resource for an inexpensive and easy test you do at home and send off via DHL. There are lots of new posts with information you can use as you continue on the path to your best life ever.

If you’d like to participate in group coaching around a specific theme drop me an email. I’m also offering a one month laser coaching package. It moves quickly, demands you show up and play full out, and will move you towards your goal without a doubt. If you’d like to know more, contact me.

Ready for Summer?

Greg

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Thank you for reading. I know your time is valuable and that there is a mountain of information out there demanding your attention. My highest hope is that I've provided something of value for you. If you know someone who might benefit from any of the content please forward this.

Any recommendations of sites or products are items I have personally investigated and recommend with confidence.